recently

recently

night

night

when I was 19 nights like these would just have taken me out on the street, into some bar optionally with a girl friend for the good laugh or just with my notebook and a pen for being emo. Well not that this is about growing old and becoming wiser or anything, as I don't feel like I have grown up a bit since my 16th birthday, it's just that recently I'm lacking the power to not give a fuck, while that is excactly all I wanna do and I'm pretty sure that would just be the best for all of us.  But as a matter of fact I'm still being too arrogant on this to not to care and plus winter is coming and sucking up most of myself anyway, which leads to: Spending the night before a midweek holiday at home under uncountable layers of blankets watching movies about the 1930's and movies about sex. or movies about sex in the 1930's.
And as most of the bad things that happened last autumn / winter just repeat in excactly the same way they did last year, pray for me that i don't brake my rib bones on christmas again.
And maybe that's why I feel this urge to stay home under my pillows, with my hot tea and my 1930 sex movies.

Katie